“I believe I deserve success” will be my mantra for a while. Historically my career choices haven’t reflected this. As part of an acting career master class I’ve had to look at my past career and try to identify patterns that server me and patterns that don’t. One big pattern I’ve noticed in both my professional and personal life, is clinging to my childhood belief not to speak up. Not to draw attention to myself. I know, how did I become an actor then. Long story for a different post.

But clinging to the idea I shouldn’t be seen, also meant I have held on to the belief I shouldn’t try to be too successful. I don’t deserve it. I audition, and target small supporting and ensemble roles. Not the leads. On the occasion when I would be offered two different roles in two different shows, I’d choose the smaller role, or the lesser known company.

This has been a repeating pattern in my career since college. I see this pattern now and I choose to break it. I have a voice. I deserve success. I will target the roles I really want. I deserve the roles I want.

I’m working on it.